To be a successful coach is less about you and more about the person you are coaching. That is extremely obvious. However, we naturally tend towards advice & fixing people and so need to be careful that if we say we are coaching, that that is where we stay.
For instance – we ask ‘why’ too many times which is more judgemental on our part rather than ‘what & how’ type questions. For example, ‘Why do you think you performed badly today? Why do you think you are no good at this?’ We have made a judgement there. That is our opinion and will make the other person defensive and probably antagonistic as the conversation continues.
A better way is to ask ‘What do you think of your performance today? On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your performance?’ This is much more positive, allows the person to be honest and provides space for free flowing conversation from them and is more likely to lead them to think of solutions rather than being fixed.
When we listen we want our opinion to be heard and find it difficult to just observe & listen. We naturally want to interrupt, be funny, wander off, think ahead, formulate solutions, look for opportunities to talk about out experience. Great coaches just listen, observe & reflect and are optimistic that the answer will come from the speaker.
As a Life Coach – I am excited about having the opportunity of helping people and developing this skill, to hard wire it into who I am. If you would like to be coached by me then email me.