You have tried my heart, you have visited me by night, you have tested me, and you will find nothing; I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress [Psalm 17:3]
On reading this verse 4 questions quickly come to my mind…
What would God find?
Would I be happy with what He found?
Why do I keep allowing things in my heart that just don’t help me?
What can I do to change that?
Don’t get me wrong, my heart is not full of bitterness or anger but it may not in the state that it should be. I love God. I am determined to seek His kingdom first. Yet other stuff doesn’t just creep into my heart, on occasion I leave my heart unguarded and let that stuff walk right in.
Perhaps the best way to describe how my heart may look if God were to ‘test it’ is ‘confused’. Healthy, but not always at full strength.
I’m just trying to be honest. Some days my heart is full of God, other days, less so. I know that God still loves me yet I can be disappointed with how my heart expresses that.
It’s not simply enough to just point to being human. The flesh does scream for stuff but it doesn’t mean I should give it the satisfaction of being fulfilled.
What can I do? Call upon God. Seek Him first. Ask for forgiveness. Be led by the spirit. Have an ear for what God is saying to me and have the courage to follow through. Purpose that I will not transgress. Recognise that it’s only with Gods help that I will ever have the victory in this area of my life and have a heart ‘filled with the fullness of God’.