I am feeling a little off today. The words of this Psalm then are the necessary uncomfortable reminder that is sometimes needed.

Am I truly trusting God in everything?

I can reason one way or another but I don’t think that’s the point. It’s too petty and too selfish. I think I’m made to be bigger and better than that. One thing I do know is that I don’t know so much. Both I and others are often wrong, isn’t it how we respond in those times that matters most.

Maybe that right there is my fear, above all others. Never really thought of myself as insecure person, yet this might just be it. I don’t want to be put to shame. To be misunderstood. To be thought wrong of.

I trust God, despite myself. Perhaps I get in my own way when it comes to complete trust, no one else can, unless I afford them that opportunity. After all, if I am shamed, God has me.

In the midst of this strange feeling I look to the Lord. It is always the best place to go. When I am stuck and confused on how to find release or when the melancholy grows and the puzzle only becomes larger, I am earnest in my seeking Him, leaning on Him, and remembering my life verse in Matthew 6:33 ’Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.’ 

Don’t let me be put to shame. Instead Lord, make me know Your ways. Teach me Your ways. Lead me in Your ways. Forgive me. Help me stay humble. Preserve me.

My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for he will pluck my feet out of the net. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins…Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. [Psalm 25:15-18, 20]