Helping my Family to Flourish

Here’s another focus for 2016 which might seem a little twee but it’s one of the most important things in my life.

I love God with all my heart. He is definitely first in my life. My family is a close second.

My desire is to see them flourish and I take my responsibility as their parent in helping them to flourish very seriously. Actually, it’s the responsibility of helping them to be in the right place to help them to flourish that I take seriously. The right environment, surrounded by the right people is important and doesn’t normally happen by default but through deliberate action on both ours and their part.

Things I won’t do…

  1. Tell them what to be. Which doesn’t mean I won’t have an opinion, especially if I feel they are undervaluing their potential.
  2. Make them do what needs to be done to be what they want to be. I’m a great believer that you get what you deserve. I’m not going to stand over the shoulders to make them.
  3. Give up on them. Whatever, wherever, they are always my girls and they need to know they count on their dad.
  4. Not say NO to them. If I don’t believe it is the best for them I will tell them. They need to know that dad has their best in mind.
  5. Hold a grudge against them.

Things I will do…

  1. Pray for them every day that they stay strong for God and learn to stand in faith, no matter what happens.
  2. Tell them about our journey and how staying in the House of God has caused us to flourish.
  3. Encourage them to go for it. To not allow the past ever stop them from going for their dreams.
  4. Remind them that most dreams only happen over time and with lots of hard work.
  5. Keep the conversation going. That they know we are always willing to talk and available for them, whatever is going on in their lives. This includes asking awkward questions too.
  6. Try and stay calm. I know I am not the best at this all the time. I still get cross. I still raise my voice.
  7. Tell them I love them and get a hug. [They are getting older now so that’s not cool].

There’s so much more but this is my focus ~ helping my girls succeed in all areas of life and to flourish in their relationship with God.

Would you add anything?


Leaders: Be Impatient for the Right Things

Among the many things I have learned on my leadership journey this particular ability is an ongoing area for improvement. Sometimes you get it right, others times, not so much. Tell me what you think after reading this.

It is tough being in charge. Making things happen. Getting others to make things happen. It can bring you great joy but it can also bring you great frustration too. The challenge is to not become impatient for the wrong things, only for the right things.

Being impatient can be good BUT it can cause us to react badly, to become excessively brash, to assert our authority inappropriately, to make rash decisions, to upset the team, to be overly nit-picky, to miss out on what is being done well, or just not explain ourselves clearly enough. Impatience for the wrong things can cause us to become passionate about things that in reality don’t really matter.

Patience maybe a virtue but I do think a good leader can be impatient about some things too…

  • Wanting the best for people and to see them flourish.
  • Rooting out bad practices that hinder the right results.
  • Getting rid of gossip, slander and all wrong kinds of negativity.
  • Helping people remember the why and inspiring them about the future.
  • To not being stuck but making progress with the vision.
  • That we are not seeing the right kind of change in people’s lives, we are not making a difference in our community, we are not fulfilling the call of God on our lives.

This is why I think leadership is an art. Getting that balance right can be tricky. People don’t like it when we become impatient about the wrong things or even about the right things but in the wrong way. Yet they will follow us wholeheartedly if we are impatient for the right things and in the right way too.

Your thoughts?


Nobody is a Nobody to God

We may feel unworthy of Gods love. Our friends and family may think that God would never want anything to do with them. Often people think that they are too far gone for God to really care.

Why would God be interested in me? I’m nobody special.

Here’s the thing that I have discovered as I am praying for the names of people I don’t even know, nobody is a nobody to God. Every nobody in their own opinion is a somebody to God, somebody worth sending His son Jesus to die for.

Nobody is too far gone.

Nobody is out of the reach of God’s grace.

Nobody is so unloveable that God cannot God love them.

Every nobody needs us to pray for them, that they would come to know the somebody who has done everything for them.

How to Win Friends & Influence People

Reading this book once again and loving the powerfulness and the simplicity of the ideas Dale Carnegie promotes that can help us in our relationship with others.

Yet, despite their simplicity it’s a shame that an awful lot of people just ignore them.

We can be too quick to complain, too quick to criticise, too quick to condemn. We make circumstances about ourselves, our emotions kick in and out natural defensiveness comes to the fore. We don’t always like taking responsibility for the way things have gone or the responsibility to handle everything and make some necessary changes ourselves. After all, it’s never our fault.

Reminded that we all know people that we want to change, regulate and improve. However, the most important person to start with is the one we see in the mirror every day. I have to stop wanting everyone else to change while being unwilling to do so myself.

Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbour’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean [Confucious]

More importantly for me are the words of Jesus ~ ‘Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks’.

This is a good reminder for me. I don’t always get it right but I’m working on it. How about you?